I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
