don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
