you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
