WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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