He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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