Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
