its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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