It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
