so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
