Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
