thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
