Im at strip club and am horny
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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