you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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