It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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