I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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