i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
