My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
