I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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