so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
