Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
