Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
