batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
