My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
