as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
