I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
