P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
