I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm like, not good at living.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
