I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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