Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
