Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
