I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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