Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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