I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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