remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
