if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
