so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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