which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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