like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I touched a dick in church today
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
