If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
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