She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
