Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
