wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
how drunk are you?
Several
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
