So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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