and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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