I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
