VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think I just shit out all my problems.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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