Your tits are I can't wait for
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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