If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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