so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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