Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
