Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
